Moving... staying at the new place for the first time tonight, and I realize that my coffee maker is still at the old apartment across town!

OH! The humanity!

I just want you all to know that I have swine flu, and I'm dying. I hope that puts all of your problems into perspective.

My head hurts. And I can barely eat anything before my stomache starts to turn. And I feel light-headed.

What exactly does swine flu feel like? I'm afraid to look it up.

It's October, and I can't even put up my cheesy Halloween decorations, since we're moving in 2 or 3 weeks. This makes for a sad Yeti.

Work is kicking my ass this week. Today is my third closing shifty in a row. I close again tomorrow, before I go back to opening shifts for a couple of days. In all, I'll have worked 8 days in a row before I get a day off. Blech.

I've missed the Harvest Festival in Azeroth, and most of Brewfest. I'll have to wait an entire year before I get to drink that much beer and listen to the goblins dancing to the music again. *sigh*

I don't think that I think like normal people.

So, after much thought, internal debate, and advice from friends and family...

I'm giving Adam one more chance. We're going to try to work on our relationship, and make it better than it has been. All I know is that I still love him, and I truly believe that he loves me. He is going to have to win back my trust and my forgiveness, neither of which I can grant at this time.

I'm giving it 6 months. After those months are up, we will examine where the relationship is, and decide where to go from there.

If I don't at least try, I will regret not having tried. And if it doesn't work out, things won't be any different than they have been this past week.

It isn't an easy choice by any means. We have a LOT of things to resolve.

And yes, I know many of my friends may question it, or may not like it. But, ultimately I'm the one that has to live with my choice.

Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Dammit! I'm missing Pirate Day in Azeroth!

I woke up this morning in the bedroom that used to be mine as a child. It was a disorienting, but pleasant experience.

In another hour or two I'll be headed for Spokane. First stop, the home of dandelionwhine. With what new insanity shall she greet me, I wonder?

I think that everything is starting to sink in...

I feel so profoundly sad today.

Words are inadequate...

Here's Sthawain's current look. I like it. Well, the feathers are a little gay... but cool.

So, I was doing some Project Runway research, and discovered that Logan Neitzel was named sexiest barback in Seattle in the Stranger's 2005 Valentine's Day edition! For some reason, that made me smile.

think I'm suffering from the mean reds. just want to lock myself in a room with some alcohol, and smash a lot of cosmetics.

I have been thinking a lot about humility lately. There must be a lot of happiness in true humility.

I need to ponder this some more.

I'm watching reruns of Eureka. It's a weird cheesy-ass show. I don't think I like it.


EDIT: Except for Zane. He's the only reason to watch it. Yum!

A lot of my friends on Facebook have mentioned their sadness at Ted Kennedy's passing. However, one of them, who is both Republican and gay (that's another post), mentioned how he's probably the only one on Facebook who isn't sad about it.

Some of his friends commented on his post that they "could care less", and one hopes that Senator Kennedy, "made his peace with God".

I started to get annoyed until I realized that A) I've said the same about conservatives who have passed away, and B) these are the same people who my friend will never come out to because he's ashamed of who he is, and he knows that none of them will ever accept them as he is. And they're idiots.

Then, I felt better.

Halloween II is much better watched in the company of Tootsie Rolls. Just FYI.


EDIT: Oh. And pumpkin ale.

Trying to get out of a bleak mood. But nothing's helping so far.

I even found pumpkin ale at the store last night. And 5th Avenue bars. Neither one helped much. Though they tasted good.

I want to try absinthe.

Just reading of it and seeing pictures conjures up visions of Rimbaud, Van Gogh, Wilde, etc.

So, I'd just like to see what the big deal was.

''Absinthe has a wonderful colour green. A glass of absinthe is as poetical as anything in the world. What difference is there between a glass of absinthe and a sunset?''
 
                                                            - Oscar Wilde

I was cleaning the fish tank today, and I went to rinse out the filter when I noticed something float across the top of it. Then I realized that one of the fish must have had babies, and one got sucked up in the filter.

After I managed to trap it and get it out with a net, I showed Adam, and then he noticed another one! So we have two little orange platys swimming around inside a glass right now. We're going to go buy a little bowl or tank to keep them in until they're big enough to live with the other fish.

Bryan is over, making homemade soup for dinner tonight. The whole place smells like ginger, garlic, celery, and onion. It's heavenly.

Combined with the cool, cloudy weather, it makes me think of the Fall. I want apple cider, and anything made from pumpkin.

It's strange to look outside and see that there are still leaves on the trees.

that the chupacabra and Liza Minnelli are the same person. You decide.




When hungry she sucks the blood from goats.

Also, I think she spits bleach. Not acid, but bleach.

That is all.

So, I was sitting here after work, watching an episode of A Haunting, when my cat Bubba runs over to say hello. Only, he wasn't coming over to say hello. He was chasing after a small spider that was crawling up my leg!

Then, towards the end of the episode, during a a very suspenseful and scary part of the story, another cat, Colbi, licks my toe under the coffee table! I jump straight up off the couch, and scare both cats into running in opposite directions.

Ghosts both frighten and fascinate me. Yet I've never seen one, as far as I know.

I often wonder what ever happened to:

617heavy
chrissstopher
mrzachyboy
saradaneko
the_tao_of_lu

and of course,
dandelionwhine

A couple of weeks ago, I had a pretty good idea for a female detective story set in a sci-fi universe. It's one of those few story ideas that, when it occurs to me, I can actually see myself writing it. And it was inspired, believe it or not, by a werewolf series set in the Tri-Cities of Washington. (The Mercedes Thompson novels by Patricia Briggs. They're quite entertaining)

Thinking a lot about random things lately. Pondering existence and the like. I wish I remembered to carry around a pen and paper for all the things I think about, because when I sit down to type them out, I can't think of a single one.

sigh.

I really hate having to borrow money from friends.

But I do count myself lucky for having friends who are willing and able to help.

I just hope that someday I can return the favor, somehow.

Hating Portland again today. Missing my friends and family. It's not really this city's fault. But not a lot of good has happened since we got here.

Last night's dream: I was in a school rehearsing for some play with my high school English teacher. Then, I swam across a lake to an island where I met a giant monkey-man who had built an entire apartment complex with all the modern conveniences. He had been exiled to the island because he wouldn't stop building things.

Why does LJ make it so difficult to search for new friends? Not people you already know IRL, but people you've never met before who might live either in your own neighborhood, or in Timbuktu?

Anyway, trying to get back into this whole thing. I'm fed up with Myspace, Facebook, etc., and their quick one line updates, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

This seems a much more appropriate space in which to air my many rants, raves, and assorted other grievances.

With that said, I should get back to work. *sigh*

Hating Portland again. Especially today. And my job. Hate my job. I know, I'm whining. I don't care.

I miss Avatar: The Last Airbender.

There's not a lot of good TV right now.

Work is boring and incredibly annoying.

In typical Portland fashion, we're getting tons of spring rain off and on. I love it, but it's wet.

WoW only stays interesting for so long.

I need some distraction- physical and/or mental.

So here's my question: why don't women like balls? Most gay guys LOVE big ones, and most girls I know would prefer them to be almost nonexistant, as if the penis is the only part that matters.

So what gives?

Chris Pine is my new favorite starship captain. *drools*

Must find and/or create a new icon...

I am hanging out with my brothers this weekend. There have already been cell phone rules imposed-- I can't text except when everybody else is either asleep, or about to go to sleep.

So far plans include laser-tag, and some kind of race car driving thing. And someone mentioned "Hooters". I am sincerely dreading this. I feel like the token gay guy who has to do all the dumbass straight guy bullshit activities.

We're fucking going to Dempsey's or I will kill them all in their sleep.

EDIT: Ok, maybe not Dempsey's. It is rather lame.

Still dreading...

So, since there seemed to be so much hype about Dunkin Donuts' own coffee, the Monkey got some for me to try.

And after trying it, I can honestly say that it is the worst coffee I have ever had the displeasure to ingest. It tastes worse than the stuff that you get at a 7-11.

Perhaps if served in a styrofoam cup it improves the flavor, as it melts the waxy inner coating and detracts from the horrid battery acid flavor? I don't know.

Of course the initial taste is just the beginning. After swallowing, my throat felt constricted as I experienced a horrifying aftertaste that can only be described as molten copper.


And the people on the East Coast love this stuff? I'd rather drink Folger's. And that's pretty bad.



That is all.

My head hurts and my nose is stuffy.

Does anybody read this stuff anymore?

TV is rotting my brain.

I hate LEGOs.

That is all.